20 Ways To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen (Child Development Institute)

20 Ways To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen (Child Development Institute) is well worth the time to read. It has some great information and advice.

Personally I found it refreshing and apparently I needed a little refreshing on healthy and effective communicating. The article (if that is what I should call it) reminded me to use the tools I have and to re-evaluate how I am speaking to my children and family. We all have moments when we tend to regress into less effective ways to communicate with our children (and other adults).

Recently I have noticed that my son has been yelling more. Screaming that he WANTS to watch another one of HIS shows (I limit his TV) or that HE is MAD at me (mostly, because I won't let him watch TV). Where is this behavior coming from? I know that I am not the only person that my child is exposed to (learns from), but I am the one who he is with the most. So he must be learning it from me...

Since I believe that owning something (taking responsibility for something and admitting that you are wrong or have made a mistake) is the first step needed to make positive change I need to let you know that when I am over stressed or tired I tend to raise my voice.

BINGO. See? He IS learning it from me!! (insert sick feeling in mothers stomach)

I don't do this often but I do indeed do it. Especially lately, as my family is going through some changes (a possible move in a FEW WEEKS) that are adding stress to our lives.  Maybe you can relate... Maybe you haven't slept in months and you can't seem to find a second for yourself, and when you ask your three year old (in a calm and direct tone) to go downstairs he/she just stands still. When he/she does this you snap and instead of turning off the television and kneeling down to his/her level (which is much more effective and respectful) you yell,  "GET DOWN STAIRS!"

Yelling is not the most effective way to communicate. I know this... But even though I know more effective ways to communicate and I work very hard at trying to implement them I still regress. Now before I yell I will remind myself of this feeling (that sick feeling) and remember that I can make a better choice. I will take a breathe... and remember to use the skills I have learned.