We all have moments...

when we question everything, especially as parents. Specifically, I have been questioning my responses to my son's emotional outbursts. He is an emotional child. I understand that. I realize that many things move him and I am happy that he feels so deeply. But sometimes... Some days... Something has to give. For instance, when he is having fun, typically when a friend is over visiting, and the fun has to come to an end he breaks down into tears.

At first, I related. I felt empathy. I told him that I understood that he is sad and that he should instead tell his friend that he had a great time and would love for him (the friend) to come back another time. But this has been going on for awhile now. My son is a bright boy and CLEARLY I must be encouraging this behavior and therefore I must make some changes.

So today, when he burst into tears I looked at his friend's mother and said, "How do you deal with this?" She quickly supported me. She looked at my son and said, "That behavior is not acceptable!" I have tried using those words before but they didn't have an effect. Today, hearing them from another person, a person that was not mom or dad,  made all the difference in the world. My son stopped crying (THANK YOU!) and looked at me. I told him that was MUCH better behavior and that he knows better ways to deal with his feelings and that if he was going to cry we would not be able to invite his friend back. He then started to cry again... (I should have said less... Damn, I talk too much... I should have allowed the lesson to sink in. Ugh!!) Then, I reminded him that his friend couldn't come back if he was unable to get control. He stopped crying. Then asked (with a little crack in his voice but no tears) if his friend could come back. 

We will see how next week goes, as we have weekly play-dates. I just need to be consistent, prepare him for success, lean on my fellow moms and stop talking so much.